June 26, 2025
*Can I be honest with you?
*said the chronic oversharer . . .
I write about finding what matters most in the ordinary. But if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that isn’t because that’s the place I naturally inhabit. I feel a bit sheepish saying it out loud, but I have always wanted to be great, like Belle singing around the fountain in the town square.
A part of me loves the idea of being looked up to, sought after as a thinker or speaker; a part of me wants to be. . . famous.
I feel those desires, and distrust them. I think ‘success’ would fail to deliver on its supposed promises. I think I’d keep moving the goal posts, never satisfied. I think pursuing greatness for its own sake isn’t actually the way to live well.
I write about the ordinary as a way to bring myself back to what I desire even more, and to invite you into the messy journey with me.
But it’s hard.
Hard to live in the tension of wanting to share the work I’m making but not tip over into being driven by a motivation that will only leave me empty.
Hard to hold my dreams and intentions against the practical realities of life.
I want to offer all this writing as a work of love, not as a form of selfish ambition. I also want to be published, and to be read, which involves some measure of selling yourself. I’ve been wrestling with how to do this well.
For only $9.99 I’ll share the answers I’ve found!
KIDDING. As I know you know.
What I have found are reminders in surprisingly places that are helping me come back to what matters most to me.
- Anxiety about whether I’ve done enough or am enough makes me feel like I should work harder. It tends to lead to hustle and striving . . . which just generates more anxiety. Shoot. But anxiety usually comes from a place of fatigue. When I’m rested, I’m inspired, not anxious. When I’m rested, it’s easier to trust. The anxious voice that says you’re falling behind, you need to work harder—what it really needs is a nap and a nice hike in a sub-Alpine meadow. I am in need of refreshment. So I am taking the summer off (see ya late August!) and canceling the live August storytelling Workshop. Instead, I’ll share a recipe for you to DIY it in a future post.
- Did I mention I have a book proposal out? And someday I hope you’ll gift that book to someone you love. For now, as I await the first round of publishers reviewing my book proposal, I’ve felt more pressure to make a name for myself (or flounder trying). Self-promotional hustle, it turns out, is a very different place to write from than love. In my fatigue, I’ve had a hard time holding on to my definition of success.
Then I got a text from someone I used to work with and recently reconnected with, who finally got around to looking at my website after our lunch. (Hi!!)
“I’ve finally had a chance to spend time on your site, and it is incredible! Reading various pages brought me to tears. I so appreciate your vulnerability . . . “
Pow! That’ll fill the tank.
They say to keep coming back to your why. Well, friends, YOU are my why. As envy-inducing as some uber polished and wildly creativy Instagram accounts can be, my goal is not to wow you with my polished perfection (let’s be honest, I’m more “Velveteen Rabbit” than shiny toy).
No, I want to connect with you, to move you, to help you see new things and realize truth, and be awed together by what is good and beautiful and real. ***pausing to delicately dab away a tear*** This kind friend’s text reminded me of that, and encouraged me to keep rooting what I share—whatever the venue—in that. - And yet, there are more and less strategic ways to offer love. We’ve probably all been the unfortunately recipient of someone who ‘loved’ us to make themselves feel better, or the immensely generous but terribly conceived gift. I personally like to make my gift-giving as awkward as possible by mumbling apologetically about the deficiencies or over-explaining the origin story of the gift, but that’s just me. But when someone conveys their love in a manner finely tuned to their audience? Magic!
This is a long-winded way of saying, just because becoming an influencer isn’t my ambition doesn’t mean there aren’t more effective ways to use tools . . . like social media . . . to communicate. And the reality is, my effective use of this tool is going to be an indicator to publishers that I’m a good bet.
(Unless, publisher person, you are reading this now? Hi. Yes, let’s chat, I am a good bet, I really am, a fresh new voice in the making! Don’t you want to get to be the one who discovered the next great unknown fresh new voice? What a thrill that would be. Call me! Thanks, love ya, bye.)
Er, ok, so, with some really very minor trepidation I publicly state my intention to learn more about how to leverage this communication form.
And also, I need help.
If you (a) love using social media to communicate and have or want a side hustle OR (b) you work with someone in category (a) who is amazing, give me a holler, yeah?
Look out people, things about to get reel.
(See what I did there?)
Sorry, that was a bit painful.
OK, off to summer break.
Bye.
(why are you still here? go enjoy summer break!)
No really, see you in August.
Bye for real this time.
